 |
Life Stories
Collene's Story -
I'm one of those rare individuals known as a "native Oregonian"...I've lived in Bend since 1964, graduated from Bend High in 1976, and was 18 when I was married in March of '77...I have a 29 year old daughter, a 26 year old son, and a 7 month old grandson...I was raised in a "church" environment, being taught FACTS about God, but didn't come to know Jesus as Lord and Savior until July 1980...I started attending CBS (Community Bible Study) in 1983, and except for a 7 year period of time when CBS wasn't operating in Bend, have been studying the Word through CBS ever since...as a child, whenever I was asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?", I usually answered "a teacher"...I distinctly remember wanting to have 21 kids - 11 girls and 10 boys; I will be forever grateful to the Almighty that He gave me only two...in reality, being a wife and mother was what I wanted...in 1986, my husband started a business, choosing to work 24/7; as a result, I raised our kids, for the most part, alone, and when Hillary graduated from Bend High in 1998, I remember thinking that since our "active parenting" years would be over in 2001, when Tyler graduated, that soon my husband and I would be able to get to know one another again and have some fun...however, on March 25th, 1999, the day before our 22nd anniversary, my husband informed me of his intention to divorce me, and my world ended...my heart was shattered, and all I wanted was to die; I'd had no idea that anyone could hurt that much and live through it...I spent the next several years in a fog of anger, bitterness, and grief...through a lot of prayer and counseling I was able to get to the point of forgiveness; and although I have forgiven him, the pain of abandonment, betrayal, and rejection by the one person that I loved the most, will always be with me...what is truly remarkable, is that God has helped me heal enough that I can now cry FOR him, not BECAUSE OF him, since he is now reaping the consequences of his choices, and is suffering mightily...when we go through one of these periods in our lives, we have a choice...we can choose to believe the lie that God doesn't know about what is happening and doesn't care, or we can choose to believe the TRUTH...the truth is that whatever we are going through is no surprise to God: He knew this was going to happen from the beginning of the world...so if He knows what is going to happen before it happens, and doesn't stop it, then He is allowing it; if He allows it, then it has a purpose, and because He is good, that purpose is good...ultimately, that purpose is for our growth, for His glory, and He will use us to help someone else who is going through similar difficulties...I know these truths because of several years of CBS, and reading the entire Bible in one year a number of times...if you are going through one of these times, turn to God, lean on Him - He will carry you, literally, if necessary...talk to Him, listen to Him, cry out to Him...there is nothing that you can say or do that will cause Him to stop loving you, to stop caring about you, to make Him leave you...you can trust Him and believe that He is ever faithful...He will walk through the valley of the shadow of death with you, and when you come out of the other side, you will have grown, and God will be able to use you even more than He had before.
|
 |