BACKGROUND:
Hi, My name is John Doe and I am a recovering …… Backslider!
I was raised
in the valley, by wonderful Christian parents, in a wonderful home. Had sort of a “leave it to Beaver” family
life style. I received Christ when I was
12, and was later baptized in a creek.
We moved to LaPine where I started High School. There I helped run the youth group at 1st
Baptist Church. I was at that time very mature
for my age and was dedicated to the Lord and diligent in his work.
At age 18, I
graduated and joined the Air Force and shortly after married my high school
sweet heart and had a beautiful girl. At
age 21 I had already starting drifting away from God. After 6 yrs of marriage, my wife had a
nervous breakdown due to childhood abuse and wanted a divorce. I stayed in the Air Force for a total of 11
yrs and all the time drifted totally away from where God wanted me to be, but
my heart knew better.
If only I
knew the events that were going to take place over the next few years, I would
have stayed on course. I’m not saying
these things happened because I was not walking with God. But I sure could
have used God working in my life instead of “on my life”, to help me through
these times and to help me make the right decisions….. But then again, maybe
they did happen to bring me back from where I wasn’t supposed to be. Who knows?
After
getting out of the Air Force in 1992, I moved back to Bend to be with family
and to pursue a young lady I now call my wonderful wife. We married in 1994, and at that time although
I still was not with God, the spirit yearned inside me and I knew I was missing
out on what God could be doing in my life. (why do we do this to ourselves?)
I got a real
good job here in Bend, and after 2 yrs I was making real good money as I was
well liked and my Air Force training helped me excel fast. Soon we bought our first house and had 3
kids over the next 6 years. We had it
good and things were getting “better” as income increased.
The Awakening for A Hard Head:
I received a
letter from my first wife’s lawyer (Husband) that she was suing me for $85K for
back child support. I had paid it and
luckily I had some of the receipts to prove it…..some. In order to settle
out of court, we had to sell our house and give the equity (of $18K) to my
ex. It was at the start of the big
housing boom here in Bend so we got a “Good deal” on our second house. It was
bigger, better, and had a big back yard.
I was still not walking with God and not praising him for all the good
things in my life! But, I did have a lot of people praying for
me! Why
Even my mom prayed that, her son would come back to God… no matter what it
took! Too bad I have a hard head.
About a year
in our new big house my wife and I start having all kinds of problems and it
looked to me like things might quickly come to an end between us. A few months go by and I start having all
kinds of medical problems. I was soon
diagnosed with Type-1 Diabetes with peripheral neuropathy and a B-12 deficiency
known as Pernicious-Anemia. About that
time we get a letter in the mail telling us that the bank is going to triple
our monthly payment. We pleaded with the
bank and ended up losing the house. The
medical bills started pouring in, but we were holding our own. Inside I was thinking
that I had been blessed and had not been thanking God nor had I been providing
a spiritual-atmosphere for my family that I was supposed to. Just before we moved again, there were some major family problems and my dad was
sent to prison for 8 yrs At 75 yrs of
age…… I was crushed! Floored. Suddenly I was trying to keep it all
together. My Family, My Mom alone, My
health, My marriage, my sanity! I was
losing it all.
I started
praying. I prayed that God would help me
find me a church to take my family to.
After moving into a rental I found that there were several kids there that
went to Westside, and a few of them got me to take my family to Westside. Soon I was taking 10 kids to 180 and a few to
church on Sunday every week. That was a
blessing to me. We settled in here at
Westside…… but still I was not committing my life to God! Sure I was going to church every Sunday. But was that enough? Because of all the mounting problems;
marital, financial, losing our house, my dad going to prison, my diabetes w/
complications, my wife and I were struggling trying to keep it all together…. Keep
us together!! I was fighting to keep everything
together, by myself! I was convinced
that I
could do it!
I was only
half the way “thru the Bleach-cycle!” God
was working on me good!
Things got
worse…..
Soon my son
of age 15 (last year) who had always been a perfect child since child birth was
arrested for fighting in self-defense of someone else…. The judge did not see
it that way and threatened 10 yrs in jail!
My, how fast a family’s life can be turned up-side-down. Lots of prayer was needed here as there were
lots of other things that happened with this that could have only been answers
to prayer, but that’s another story in itself!
HUMILITY:
1.5 yrs went
by and we continued to go to Westside. My
physical condition deteriorated some and I could not perform as I
use to, (working 6-7 days a week 10+hrs a day), and I was selected by my boss
to be permanently laid off from my job in May of 2009 after working there just
shy of 15 yrs. I was well liked, had the
most knowledge, and was the only one covering many tasks that no one else even
knew. It did not make sense to let ME
go…. Unless, God had other plans for me.
Now, I would
be humbled some before God and Man and My Family. What a
blow: To not be able to provide for
your family any more. Not to be able
to exceed in a career or income.
I applied
for Disability and of course unemployment.
It took 6-Months to get the unemployment, but I did finally get it the
first time w/o having to fight it – That was a big answer to prayer! But losing my regular income and insurance, my
medical expenses of $1,600/month+ added up real fast over several months. I don’t qualify for Medicare for 2-years. Those expenses became a priority and other
bills went on hold. Soon, it was hard to
pay the basic life expenses; Rent, utilities, food and such. I was really getting down…. I mean really
down! I was trying to hide most of my
emotion as I knew my wife was also scared as other ignored bills were also
adding up. We were still dealing with everything that had happened during the
last 2 years.
Miracle #1
I was
sitting on the couch one day depressed after a really good church service, kids
running around the house, just talking to God humbling myself and asking God to
connect me with some fellow Christians as I need some fellowship in my life.
People who will actually care about my situation and can pray for and with
me. My heart was crying out to be right
with God…. The phone rang……
It was George Dames, The leader of a life
group!
We
talked. He invited me to Life
Group. I was blessed and my spirit was
instantly lifted up. Later, I sent
George an email about my situation. I guess I exploded on him. (Poor George, he
doesn’t know what he has done!) I
explained some of my financial situation….. I was about to have some of my
utilities shut off!
Miracle #2
George called me the next day and
said that he might have some money for me. We met and he gave me some money
that was collected from the life group that paid our water bill, got gas in our
cars and bought my family of 5 food for a couple weeks! I had NEVER asked for or taken money from
anyone before and this was VERY VERY hard for me to do, but I had no
choice! My Pride was hurt. I prayed that God would please bless the
givers.
Miracle(s) #3
My Insulin,
glucose test strips and one of my 6
medications added up to $425/month.
Those 3 were first and foremost.
I had applied for assistance for those 3 and preyed in tears in life
group as they laid hands on me. I was
told it would take 6-10 weeks to hear back on these 3 things and would probably
have to appeal and there would be a $25 on each. 10 more days went by….. I was on my last
pill, had only a couple days insulin left, and had been out of test strips for
2 days…. I had a “calm” about everything!
I knew it would be alright.
I got a
call…. It was BMC telling me to; “come pick up 6 months of insulin. Oh, and you
are the first, but there is no longer a co-pay on this! Don’t know why, but come get it.” The next
day, the door bell rang… it was Fed-Ex.
It was my expensive prescription from a separate company as my insulin with
a bright orange page that read; “Co-pays are no longer needed on this.”
Two different companies changed their
rules, accepted me fast w/ no appeal and dropped their co-pays! The V.A. called me in and gave me a new glucose meter and
6-months of test strips free.
The more I
gave and continue to give of myself back to God, the more doors start to open
and good things happen.
Miracle #4
On Tuesday
April 27, 2010: I was supposed to go to
life group at noon. I wasn’t feeling
well and had been asleep on the couch all morning. I woke up at 11:20am. Trying to figure out every reason to stay home
that day. I heard a little voice in my
head that said, “GO!” I got dressed and
went out to the car. The gas computer in
the Durango said, “2 miles to empty”. It
was 3.5 miles to Life Group and I still had to drive home. I had not
a dollar to buy gas. Again, I heard a
voice that said, “GO!” I said ok, I’m
going. And I went…. When it was over I
started for the door and suddenly remembered, “uh-oh, no gas”, I almost
forgot! As I started to reach for the
door someone put their arm around me and pulled me close. Something was said like, “this isn’t much,
but I thought you might need this!” and
handed me a 20-dollar-bill. With tears
welling I turned and explained why I did need it and what happened to bring me
here today. We were both blessed!
Although not
everything is answered yet, and we are in a big hole financially, we are now
getting by one day at a time, I praise God that he is meeting our daily needs.
I have repented in tears that I wasted so much time and did not realize how
blessed I was, and could have been. I do now!
Sure, maybe
all these things still might have happened even if I was walking with God, but
maybe not. But, I might have gone thru
them a lot better and stronger with God by my side instead of chasing me… You
decide.
But I will
say this; My life is God’s twice. Once at birth, and for keeps when I gave it
to him when I accepted Christ in my heart.
So, if God wants, he may take it back one way or another as
He is doing here. Just hope you will
realize it early and not have a hard head as me and miss out on all the things
that could have been! I thank God I am
still here.
Isaiah 57:14-18
14 And it will be said: "Build up,
build up, prepare the road! Remove the obstacles out of the way of my
people."
15 For this is what the high and lofty One
says—he who lives forever, whose name is holy: "I live in a high and
holy place, but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to
revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite. 16 I will not accuse
forever, nor will I always be angry, for then the spirit of man would grow
faint before me— the breath of man that I have created. 17 I
was enraged by his sinful greed; I punished him, and hid my face in
anger, yet he kept on in his willful ways.
18 I have seen his ways, but I will heal
him; I will guide him and restore comfort to him.